For my girls... When you are both fully grown and in responsible jobs, living a life a million miles removed from the one you live now, I hope you are kind. I can’t imagine you wouldn’t be, I struggle to imagine you having any negative traits if I’m honest, but as your mum I am probably biased; but I hope you use the life experiences you’ve had to show empathy towards others who may be experiencing some of the pain, the sort you know only too well, but that I so hope you grow out of... 

In the years since we have just been a family of 3, I have been overwhelmed several times by the compassion someone not well known to me has shown. Please never underestimate how a kind gesture or gentle word can turn around someone’s day, one simple thing can flip a major stressor for someone and can make them feel so much better. Always look for a chance to be kind to others, always... When it has happened to me I have told an element of our story to a stranger and they have reached out to help because it touched them. 

The attorney who was closing on our refinance when I was buying our home said if I needed his services when selling our house and buying a new one I should reach out to him and he would do whatever he could to help. Three winters ago our wonderful photographer Kerry squeezed us into a Christmas photo session because she understood our pain and my need to show the world we were doing OK; she did so much more than that, she used her skill to show the world that we weren’t just doing OK but that we were beginning to thrive. 

This is particularly important tonight as we sit together watching the American election results come in. For many Americans this election is not bringing the freedom that the rest of the world looks to America to display, for many it is a time of immense fear and anxiety. No matter what results we see in the coming days there is going to be a lot of change and potential violence, so now more than ever it is important that we take time to look out for each other. As the dust settles on the decision it is not a time to gloat that your candidate won, whilst your neighbors’ lost. The major cities are anticipating unrest, why else would they barricade their store fronts; what developed, cutting edge country fears like this throughout their democratic process? We all need to support each other during the coming weeks and months and show empathy towards those we sense may be struggling or to those who seem really strong and have spent years learning how to hide their struggle. For I know each time I was offered the hand of kindness from a stranger I was touched beyond measure.

I can only hope that as you go about your daily life in the short term and as you grow and live your own lives that if you encounter someone who shares a stress or pain with you, that you use your skill to pay this forward in the way I will look to from now on too.

Be kind, be gentle,

Denise xoxo