I never really got to say goodbye to classroom teaching. One day I was a teacher; the only member of the Senior Leadership Team on site for the day, I didn’t go to an off-site training as I was leaving soon. The next day rushing to the hospital to hold my mother’s hand as she took her last breath, after a very long illness. School were wonderful, my colleagues were amazing, they let me take compassionate leave and then roll that into the early finish I had already been granted to coincide with our nanny’s maternity leave and to make our move to America as easy as possible. But I never got to acknowledge my last lesson. I can’t even remember what my last real lesson as a proper, respected math teacher was. I guess if events hadn’t taken over then I would have sobbed my way through it, and remembered every detail; as it was, I think now no memory is kinder on my brain.

I didn’t expect to need to teach again. The move to America meant I couldn’t work initially and as time wore on and The Former Mr Right’s job became better paid and took him away from home and family more often, I developed the role of homemaker that I had adopted. Little did I realize that I should have been preparing myself, re-skilling and jumping through the NYS hoops, so that at a moment’s notice I could become a teacher again. Because you know what, I am a bloody good teacher! I have lost count over the last 3 years of the times that I have felt how very short sighted NYS is for not making my qualifications and experience more easily transferrable! Anyway, it didn’t... so no traditional teaching career for me anymore!

And I thought that was OK. After he left, I moved to substitute teaching, albeit classed as ‘unqualified’. It was hard building up a reputation. I taught more little children than I would have liked. But slowly, slowly my reputation began to develop. A chance meeting with a friend of a friend over ice cream, someone I now count as one of my closest friends and allies, brought me to substitute teaching as a math teacher at the local High School. And I loved it but didn’t love it pretty much in equal measure! I loved being in the classroom, the energy of interacting with young people, of humor in the classroom, of praise and recognition... of teaching a subject I do so love. But there was no big picture, no-one wanting my opinion on behavior matters, that is where my skills really lie, no mechanism for me to feedback those little bits of information you hear to make a big picture when something is about to happen. No chance to get at teachers and improve their practice, impart them with pearls of my wisdom. So, whilst I loved the classroom, I hated the corridors. But time wore on and the divorce seemed to be moving to its close, and with it I would be losing my healthcare, so I needed a plan B. Despite huge amounts of time spent with some wonderful staff we could not find an easy way to magic me to becoming a teacher in NYS and I had no choice but to get a ‘proper job’; which despite a plethora of varied applications eventually took the form of admin assistant in a Realty Office. I remember being asked if I would miss being in the classroom, I answered honestly because I really didn’t think I would. But from day one I realized that I was just not cut out for life away from making that difference. My Plan B lasted 10 months, I will always be grateful of the opportunity and risk they took on me; much as I loved the people, not all the people! But much as I loved the people, I was miserable in the role and it wasn’t long before I found a new role far more aligned to me; as an Educator. It was 5 weeks from interview until I started and a further full week before I got back into the classroom. And I felt that I had come home, I was back where I belonged and where I was meant to be. OK maybe the subject matter was foreign to me but I’ve always maintained that I am a teacher of children first and foremost and subject matter is secondary to that. I feel so fortunate to work with a team of like-minded professionals who value the same educational philosophy as me. I was welcomed to that team and my skills were cherished and praised and I felt settled and comfortable pretty much from day one.

I learnt from this that you have to be true to yourself and so, I’m going to challenge you, if you are stuck in a job with no satisfaction, the wrong fit, the wrong colleagues, do something about it. How can you possibly find yourself if you don’t have the courage to make the move? Don’t stick your head in the sand and complain, be brave and then tell me all about it below.

Be kind, be gentle…

Denise xoxo